Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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