it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize