what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
