I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
