No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
