Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
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My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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