New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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