Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
