never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
