I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
