She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
