Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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