I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Fuck appropriateness.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
