Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
