Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
