Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
