Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
