It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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