I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
