So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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