The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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