your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
