I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize