my soul wont recognize me after tonight
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I would fuck him just for his dog
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
