I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
ok first of all what the fuck
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
