wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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