Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
