Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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