Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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