im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
