Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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