3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
