She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
