Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
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i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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