he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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