Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
