but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
