Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
