I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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