I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
