need another drink. this is the easiest way
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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