Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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