Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
