so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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