Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
