some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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