I'm really into asian looking animals
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
