then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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