I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
