I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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