Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
