dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
