Barsexuality is the new black.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
