She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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