I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize