Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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