oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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