Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
