you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
