I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
