If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
