It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I need to stop coming to work sober
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
