I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
