I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
