Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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