If i come over, it means nothing
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
