Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
