No stitches, just platelets and will power
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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