anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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