Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
