I'm going to jail i love you
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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