He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
