Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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