I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
