The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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