elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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