Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I want to make a zoo with you.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
